An astronaut was about to enter the capsule of his spaceship when a man rushed up with an autograph book. “I'm a big fan of interplanetary heroes. Will you please sign your name for me?”

The astronaut obliged. “Certainly. Here you are.”

But the fan grew even more excited. “It must be superb to be launched in a rocket and see the amazing sights of the universe. What wonders did you observe the last time you took off?”

The astronaut answered, “I saw you having vigorous sex with a buxom freckled redhead in a clearing in the woods.”

“Really?” cried the autograph hunter, much embarrassed.

“Of course. Why else do you think we travel so far and put telescopes into orbit? It isn't to gaze at boring stars!”

“You mean to say that the whole point of the space program is to spy on frisky couples having sex outdoors?”

The astronaut nodded. “From a space station or from the surface of the moon, we can see nearly everything that happens. People just assume we are looking outwards into deep space. In fact our eyes and instruments are trained downwards on people like you.”

“But what would happen if you were caught peeping?”

“I'd say I was walking the dog.”

“Surely that's impossible!” objected the fan.

The astronaut shook his head and laughed. “Don't you know anything about the history of space flight? Why do you think a dog was sent up before humans? Yes, it's true. A dog called Laika was launched into orbit aboard Sputnik 2 in 1957. There's a clue in the name 'Sputnik', don't you think? We're all voyeurs. Woof woof.”

¶ This is Ground Control to Major Peeping Tom.