A chef prepared a cauldron of green soup over a fire for his guests. He served it in deep bowls and most of the guests ate it with relish, but one fellow pulled a sour face. “Yuck!”

The chef was offended. “You don't like it?”

“What sort of green pea soup is this? From what pods did these peas come? They taste unmentionable!”

The chef raised an eyebrow. “Peas? I thought you wanted green pee soup. There has been a mistake…”

The man who had complained shuddered.

“How did you manage to get hold of green pee in sufficient quantities to fill your cauldron?” he enquired.

“I invited the patients of a local hospital to come round and take it in turns relieving themselves into the cooking pot,” said the chef. “Most of them suffered from hideous and bizarre venereal diseases, which explains the particular colour of the liquid.”

“It's true what they say,” said the unhappy feaster, as he laid down his spoon. “Too many cocks spoil the broth!”

¶ Waiter, waiter! There's an undone fly in my soup!