There was a ghost who was scared of life. “But you're already dead and the danger is over,” pointed out a skeleton.

“D-d-d-d-don't tempt fate!” shivered the ghost.

“What is it exactly about life that alarms you so much?” the skeleton asked. The ghost turned elap and began…

“One moment!” cried the skeleton. “What is 'elap'?”

“The opposite of pale,” answered the ghost. “Living men and women turn pale when they are scared; so it follows that a frightened ghost will turn elap. That's logical, isn't it?”

The skeleton waved a bony hand. “Fair enough. Continue.”

“I've forgotten what I was going to say…”

“It can't have been important, in that case,” said the skeleton.

The ghost shrugged. “Maybe not.”

“What are you doing tonight?” asked the skeleton.

“Are you hitting on me?”

“Yes, I am. I've fancied you for ages.”

“As it happens, I'm free. What did you have in mind?”

“How about the cinema?”

“I don't know. What are they showing?”

“A romance. It's all about a man and a woman who meet on a train and fall in love and kiss each other with lips. Then they get married and dwell happily ever after in a nice house.”

The ghost recoiled. “No! I hate horror films!”

¶ One dead thing's date is another dead thing's nightmare.

(Image by Chris Harrendence)