Two chives that were growing in a pot had an argument. They decided to settle their dispute by fighting each other. Despite the fact they were the smallest species of onion, they managed to do a lot of damage and before long they were both badly injured.

“This is extremely silly,” said the first chive.

“I agree,” said the second chive. “Why don’t we settle the matter some other way? For instance, we should roll this dice. I’ll go first and you can go second. Highest number wins!”

“I believe that ‘die’ is the singular of dice,” said the first chive.

“I stand corrected,” said the second chive sardonically. Then he rolled the die and squinted to see the result.

“It’s a one!” chortled the first chive.

“Now it’s your turn,” said the second chive unhappily.

The first chive also rolled the dice. But the result was the same. “It’s another one! It’s a draw!” he gasped.

The second chive peered closer and frowned.

“Wait a moment! This die has been interfered with… Every face has the number one inscribed on it…”

¶ When two chives go to war, a point is all that they can score.