There was a tweed jacket that thought it was the most stylish item of clothing in the wardrobe. “I'm bound to win all the awards this year,” it said to itself. But when the time came to announce the winner of the best-dressed entity, the main prize went to a bird. The tweed jacket got angry and began trying to bully the bird. “The competition was rigged! I am the best!” it squeaked. It got so angry that it burst into flames and turned to ashes that blew away on the winds of oblivion.

¶ Tweed is an unfashionable fabric for good reason.